What am I living for?
by Silas Martin Bollweg on Sun Aug 30 2026
First Chapter of the Book “Lighting the Fire”
When I was young, there was a boy in my parish who told everyone that he was there because he was searching for the meaning of life and had found it in Jesus Christ. His constant message was: “Jesus is the meaning of life.” For me, personally, that explanation wasn’t really enough. I could have replied, “For me, the meaning of life is to have fun.”
I needed something more by way of an explanation.
As for the meaning of life, the great King Solomon said the following:
Ecclesiastes 1:14 I observed all the works done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a chasing after the wind. Ecclesiastes 2:1 I said in my heart, “Come on, try finding joy and enjoy the good things!” But behold, even that is vanity.
Ecclesiastes 2:11 And I turned my gaze to all my works, to what my hands had done, and to the effort with which I had toiled. And behold, it was all vanity and a chasing after the wind. Thus, there is no profit under the sun. These are rather discouraging words, coming from one of the wisest men in history.
Life brings sickness, stress, anger, and all kinds of problems, so why this waiting period before we can enter the glorious future in heaven? I thought it would be better to leave this ugly place right now. After much reflection and a revelation, I came to the conclusion that we need to enter into the plan that God has made for each of us—before we were even born—to give true meaning to life. Simply being saved and waiting for our future dwelling in heavenly glory is not the essence of life here on earth, nor is it satisfying in the long run.
This is exactly why most Christians in Western Europe and the U.S. find their satisfaction not in God, but in the everyday things of life, such as their careers, homes, cars, hobbies, sports, family, etc. They are so focused on these things that there is no visible difference between them and people who do not know Jesus, except for warming the pews in their churches on Sunday mornings, with the goal of receiving “a blessing,” as they say.
God has an important task for all of us! Furthermore, I am convinced that every true Christian is a missionary in their own right, with responsibilities toward their closest relatives, acquaintances, friends, coworkers, and neighbors.
How did I come to this conclusion? Well, I’m familiar with Ezekiel 3:17–21. It literally says:
“Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; when you hear a word from my mouth, you shall warn them on my behalf.” When I say to the wicked, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or tell him to warn the wicked of his evil ways, to keep him alive—and the wicked man dies because of his own iniquity—I will hold you accountable for his blood! But if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness but continues in his evil ways, then he will die in his iniquity—yet you will have saved your own life! But when the righteous person turns away from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and I set a stumbling block before him, he will die; and if you do not warn him, he will die in his sin, and the righteousness he has practiced will not be credited to him, but I will require his blood from your hand! If you have warned the righteous, and the righteous does not sin—and does not sin—surely he will remain alive because he heeded the warning; you have saved a soul!”
And if that isn’t clear enough—or if Ezekiel is perhaps just an “Old Testament thing” to you—and if you don’t take Jesus’ Great Commission very seriously, you should seriously reflect on the end of the Epistle of Jude (verses 22 and 23). It says this: “And have mercy on some, since you differ with them; but others save with fear, snatching them out of the fire; and let them hate you, even as you hate those who are defiled by the (sinful) garment of the flesh.” God’s personal call is the meaning of life. Therefore, it is extremely important to find out what God has planned for me personally. Only God Himself can tell you this, and no one else is authorized to do so! No pastor, no prophet, and no one else should have to tell you what service God would like you to perform, or what His plans are for you. Or do you want to be manipulated by the testimony of others? Unfortunately, this happens all too often with devastating consequences, and this is also how cults arise.
Ask Jesus personally what His plan is for your life, and trust that He will guide you step by step in your calling. Most people plan their lives without God and simply hope for His blessing on their endeavors. It would make more sense to ask: “Lord, what have You planned for my life?”
You see, there are many people for whom nothing in life is going right, and every dream has been shattered! The girl (or boy) of their dreams has married someone else. They haven’t landed the job they wanted, nor the house or car they truly longed for. They don’t even live in the place they love most. All the things they’ve always wanted have vanished, and there’s no hope for a better situation. But these people who “failed in life” can still become superheroes in God’s kingdom by focusing from now on on saving souls for eternity!
In God’s eyes, this is even more important than our comfort. I want to emphasize that your calling does not depend on your talent. Time and again, I hear people say, “I lack talent in this area, but I can do this and that pretty well.” A fatal error has crept into our way of thinking here, which, in my opinion, has to do with a peculiarity of the German and English languages (and many other languages in general). The word “talent” mentioned in the Bible was an ancient form of currency—and has nothing to do with our personal abilities! (Matthew 25:15).
Unfortunately, we use it in our language precisely to emphasize a kind of special gift, which quickly gives rise to the fallacy that God chooses us based on certain special abilities—but this is wrong, by any means. God has always chosen His servants, rather because of their failures, to bring about something special and thus be glorified in them. God chooses “the weak” to destroy what, in the eyes of others, is “something special” (1 Cor. 1:27). God often rejected the firstborn and chose the younger brothers to do His work. He chose Moses, who was a poor speaker, to speak before Pharaoh. God even had to get angry with Moses before he accepted His call. (Read about it in Exodus 4:10–17.)
God chose the coward Gideon and the coward Esther to defeat Israel’s enemies, and Jesus chose uneducated fishermen to make them His followers! God does not need our talent. Isaiah writes that all the good we can produce is nothing more than filthy rags in God’s eyes (Isaiah 64:5).
Only through Jesus can we obtain white robes, and only through Him can we find our calling. But this has nothing to do with our natural talent or great abilities—it has everything to do with God’s grace. Someone once said that the feeling of being called to something you’re good at probably doesn’t come from God. I think there’s a lot of truth to that. This doesn’t mean that no one should use their abilities, but our talents and God’s calling for our lives are two different things. Unfortunately, many Christians spend their whole lives trying to achieve something with their talents but never find their true calling.
In my view, one thing is certain: no matter what service God calls us to, our service must always help people find Jesus—whether we’re in the pulpit, the choir, administration, pastoral ministry, charity work, or some other type of work. But we must always keep in mind that we ultimately do this work so that people can find Jesus. Because we are all called to bear fruit.
John 15:8 states literally: “This is how my Father is glorified: that you bear much fruit, and you will be my disciples.”
The Bible describes two kinds of fruit. On the one hand, there are the “fruits of the Spirit”—such as peace, joy, love, and so on—which are gradually brought into our lives through the Holy Spirit as part of a long-term process in the Christian life. On the other hand, there is the fruit in the form of genuine souls for Jesus. This text focuses on the fruit in the form of real souls who are to be won for eternity.
I would like to emphasize at this point that missionary work is neither a hobby nor a pastime! It is very often hard, unpleasant, and costly work, but God says: “A son who sleeps during the harvest brings shame upon his father.” (Proverbs 10:5)
Let us not be like that; so let us set out to be witnesses of the risen Christ.
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